My Sexpo Experience: A Closer Look at Cape Town’s Sex Fair

André told me that he wants to go to the Sexpo, South Africa’s largest sexuality exposition at Cape Town’s International Convention Centre (CTICC). When I pick him up on Sunday afternoon his girlfriend lies in bed. She just came back from work and points out that she’s too tired to join. ‘Don’t get drunk!’ she says . . . → Read More: My Sexpo Experience: A Closer Look at Cape Town’s Sex Fair

Love & Simulated Pregnancy

I give Juan a lift to his (ex)girlfriend. We ride on one of Cape Town’s highways to reach her workplace, a pub. They haven’t seen each other since she simulated a pregnancy. When we arrive Marika smiles. Both disappear. I sit at the bar and think of reasons why she could have simulated the pregnancy. ‘Men . . . → Read More: Love & Simulated Pregnancy

Male Mother Worried about Becoming (Grand)Father

‘He’s definitely not a man at this stage,’ Juan’s father Willem asserts. We sit in the lounge of his apartment in Paradise Park. His son told him lately that he might become a dad. ‘What? Dad?!’ was the seniors first response. Willem tried to be as composed as possible and immediately raised practical issues. He urged . . . → Read More: Male Mother Worried about Becoming (Grand)Father

Fatherhood on the Edge: A Pregnancy Test Drama

Juan gesticulates me to the veranda. ‘I have news,’ he frowns and looks to the ground with a mixture of excitement and remorse. We always talk about personal stuff outside. There is little privacy in the flat. Outside he starts to talk about his weekend. We went to his ex-girlfriend’s bar. I left when I deemed . . . → Read More: Fatherhood on the Edge: A Pregnancy Test Drama

MXit Relationship Problems

Juan met Martina in a chatroom on MXit, a free instant messaging application which runs on mobile phones. They had already agreed upon that they would take an HIV test to be able to keep it ‘romantic’. Artificial barriers, Juan holds, should not spoil the first date. After a week of one-on-one messaging they met for . . . → Read More: MXit Relationship Problems

Condoms, Men & ‘Burned Rubber’

It is only five minutes by car to the bottle store. On our way back we stop at another shop to buy a Coke to mix with the Kipfontein brandy we just procured. It is cheaper there. I enter together with Tony, a young man who goes out with Karol’s cousin. The young female cashier looks . . . → Read More: Condoms, Men & ‘Burned Rubber’

‘I’m a player’: Sexual Conquest Stinson Style

Jako sits on the table and scribbles a cross on a piece of paper while looking at his cell phone. The cross looks like the zef tattoo inked into the white skin of his upper arm. It bears the initials of the US rapper Tupac Shakur. Yesterday, he went to the jol, he says. His girlfriend . . . → Read More: ‘I’m a player’: Sexual Conquest Stinson Style

Mixed Feelings: ‘My wife’s boss is a lesbian’

Today is Tiffany’s first day at her new workplace. “You must see Tiffany. She’s so happy and I’m happy for her,” George says on our way to the mall. The new coffee shop hasn’t opened yet. She has merely to watch the laborers who are still busy with painting. Tiffany is supposed to keep the “darkies”, . . . → Read More: Mixed Feelings: ‘My wife’s boss is a lesbian’

Should ‘poor’ men have children? Reflections on Cultural Difference

“I want to make a girl pregnant. I want to have a child, too.” Bill, a young Xhosa man, concludes when he sees his friend’s son for the first time. “He looks like him!” Precociously I ask: “Why do you want to have a child? You know that you can’t support it.” The young men counters . . . → Read More: Should ‘poor’ men have children? Reflections on Cultural Difference

Entering the Danskraal: “It’s only about the one thing…”

George and Tiffany have made reservations for a table in their favorite club: the Danskraal. We have to leave early since the reservation must be claimed before 21:00. “Otherwise they charge you R150,” I was told. At 19:00 the couple is already dressed up and ready to go. George warns me not to wear a hood, . . . → Read More: Entering the Danskraal: “It’s only about the one thing…”