Juan gesticulates me to the veranda. ‘I have news,’ he frowns and looks to the ground with a mixture of excitement and remorse. We always talk about personal stuff outside. There is little privacy in the flat. Outside he starts to talk about his weekend. We went to his ex-girlfriend’s bar. I left when I deemed myself sober enough to drive home. He reunited with the young woman. They met on MXit and dated for the first time three weeks ago. Then the couple broke up. Juan smashed his cell phone against the wall and cut the communication.
Then he blurts out ‘She got two pregnancy tests and both turned out to be positive.’ He looks down with a stern face. ‘For the whole week she didn’t feel lekker. Then there was something she usually doesn’t eat and she was craving for it the whole week. So I told her to go to the pharmacy to get two tests.’ Juan is concerned about what his girlfriend’s mother is going to say. He already told his father. He says that the senior was OK with it. He merely urged him to find a job.
‘How did you feel when you found out about the test results?’
‘I was fuck, fuck, fuck. I was speechless. But it’s all right. It happens. I just hope that it doesn’t go through. Hopefully!’ He smiles like a schoolboy who just played a trick. ‘If I become a dad then I will have to change my life.’
‘Change your life?’
‘If she’s pregnant then it happened for a purpose.’ From his perspective fatherhood would give him a reason to settle down and become a responsible man. But after a pause he goes on ‘Shit. I’m fucking 22-years-old.’ Then he says ‘But it’s no problem I will work things out.’ He inidcates that he would be a proud and happy father. Then Juan switches again ‘Fuck! Fuck, I’m stupid my bro.’
‘If there would be a male contraceptive, I mean an anti-baby pill, would you take it?’ I ask clumsily. It would be too late anyway.
‘Yes, I would take it.’ Juan says firmly. He thought his girlfriend ‘got injections.’ Silence.
When I ask Juan if he is afraid he slightly nods. ‘Is it because you have to commit yourself to one woman now?’
‘There are a lot of choices to be made in life but if she’s pregnant all these choices are gone. All the things I still wanted to do.’ I haven’t seen him so seriousness before.
‘Meeting other girls?’ I press.
‘Not just that. Do you remember? My dream in life is to find out how women’s minds work.’ Then he laughs ‘I would never be able to find out.’ Next Wednesday the young woman is going to fetch him, he says. They will go to the clinic together for another pregnancy test.